Day two was not much different from day 1. I came to the conclusion that my emotions are in fact, in symbiotic relationship with the brain …they could be called the children of the brain. The children, the younger sibling, or a favorite pet – because my brain was in the habit of constantly checking with my emotional self, even know I have fought with it and resisted it as much as I could.
For example, I woke up today to discover that a bird has made a nest on my windowsill and has laid 4 eggs in there. In fact there were 2 birds – mom and dad – so without thinking I snapped a photo and pushed it to Facebook. After I did, I realized that I actually didn’t want to do anything for personal joy and that Facebook postings probably fell into that category… I am learning as I go! Immediately post Facebook deletion, I felt sad!.. Now, I quickly dismissed the feeling and went to work…but this is how it went.
When you are having a depression or feeling sad (for any reason) it is best to work – work 24 hours if needed, work, until your body aches, groans, and complains of feeling tired!.. Trust me, you will not have the time to be feeling sad. Or as an alternative, you can work out – if your routine is done for the week, work on your abs, calves, you can do KenPo, kickboxing or any sort of sweat-til-you-bleed cardio. Dance like they did in the 60s!
As a part of my “no more feelings” campaign, and conscious monitoring of the brain (which is necessary to avoid emotional decisions), I decided to wear primarily RED COLOR this month – signifying action and being in constant motion.
If you wish to join me in my campaign, you too can order “I HAVE NO FEELINGS” t-shirt in red in the zazzle store. What this will do is promote more action, more determination, and more TRUST in your ability as a grown up – a child side of our brains is just that. A child. Look at all bad things that happened to us, all of it. It was Him!
Stop feeling!!! Start living.
As you know I am the freak that decided to do this crazy experiment of living my life “without feelings” for 1 month. What I uncovered today was my brain was pretty much WIRED to feed into positive emotion. In fact every decision I made was partially (subconsciously) a feel-good decision…
So I consciously decided to dismiss every emotion that came about. For example when I came to my regular lunch place determined to let my brain decide what IT wanted without doubts, regrets, fears, or intentional pleasure seeking… I ordered a hefty rib plate in place of my regular no frills sandwich. I was surprised since my regular choice is what I thought was a more rational choice. But as you know it’s an experiment so I will simply make observations and will keep on avoiding making decisions based on emotions. My second choice today – instead of my regular gym place, my “thinking entity” made a call and I exercised at a fancy hotel. Again the more expensive and rather strange Choice but I had no regrets, fears, doubts or second guessing. I have allowed myself to just be. This hotel was very close to where I live too… But it’s interesting to note that my emotion-free brain was more spendey, whilst my emotional self was apparently more frugal. Without fear, my thinking entity makes more risky, bold choices, and it makes them rather quickly too.
Pretty interesting that I’m not yet falling apart without my favorite show… But it’s only been day 1! Lol we’ll see how long will I last. I will also try to plan my meals in advance …just so my emotionless Self doesn’t surprise me again. Hehe… My brain is interesting for me to study… Without feelings to motivate it, how will it do? How smart am I?.. What else will I discover?.. What about you – how attached are YOU to your emotions?
Keep following me as my life without emotions unfolds and I am getting the most interesting, revolutionary and thought-provoking thoughts…
Ever evolving –
Doubts! Another negative pesky feeling that stands in a way of decisive action. Doubts disguise themselves as thoughts, but don’t let them fool you: your horses are trying to run away with the carriage again and prevent a positive action which leads to a goal achievement. Had I told you that I decided to fire my feelings this month? As a challenge I decided to dismiss ALL of my feelings, ignoring them – bad or good. I only allow good feelings of satisfaction AFTER a goal completion but otherwise I forbade myself any pleasures – no more TV, games, no more fake happiness and false fulfillment. My horses will have to earn their living now by being obedient and giving me only what I want, when I want it. Did I ask for doubts? No. I have no place in my life right now for ANY negative emotion, period. I am only allowed to feel satisfaction when I have earned it. And this month, I am announcing a NO PLEASURE month. That’s right – no conscious pleasure of any kind. Will I survive? I am actually excited about trying this.
I will keep you posted!!!
All the best in your fulfillment in life!!!
Do we really need FEELINGS? What is the function of feelings, and what would we do if we didn’t have them?..
The main thing that comes to mind, is feelings are serving as a brain-check function, to make sure that we are not stupid, that we will not put our hand in the fire and let ourselves get burned. Totally understood as a tool in childhood or babyhood. But afterwards? In my mind, our feelings are a destructive force, which are not helpful in anyway. They can potentially do more harm, then good. The only useful feeling that we can focus on is the feeling of satisfaction. All the other feelings we could live without – I know it is said that feelings make us human, but in truth feelings make us more like animals. Only those who can truly harness their feelings and understand that the best benefit is received when we are content, and when we are not feeling anything at all. Sure, some will argue that we couldn’t exist without fear, fear is our best motivator. In truth however the horses that are attached to our imaginary carriage are of service to us ONLY when they do nothing at all. We don’t need feelings to propel us forward, we don’t need horses to move us along. You can think of these so called wild horses as more of an impediment, then something useful. It’s not necessary to tap into our animal nature in order to achieve things, because our thinking capacity is smart enough to deduct that fire will burn you, that the bills need to be paid, that there is a negative consequence to your action or lack of action. So how are feelings useful? Well the only useful feeling that I find is a feeling of satisfaction. And this feeling is only achieved by completing an action successfully. All the other feelings are irrelevant and can be over-rided by your brain. At the end of successful lovemaking comes an orgasm, for example. It is achieved after the actual action that you’ve taken. It is the end result and is the only function of the horse which stands after the jockey in our diagram. So think of your horses is a potentially damaging force, which, if contained and controlled properly, can bring you a reward in the form of positive emotion. But this reward is not necessary for us to survive, and we could in theory live without it and still be mentally satisfied at the end of our journey. In fact many take pleasure in the PROCESS of their work – when you are simply being content while the action is being taken. It is you giving a command to your horses and to the man in the carriage(the decision-maker) that they need to rest, nothing is required of them. Some talk about this feeling of inner peace, this meditative quality of the person when they are completely void of emotion, and are simply living the moment by taking a proper action without overthinking it, and without feeling fearful or doubtful about what they’re doing. And such quality can be seen and felt by others and referred to it as almost magnetic feeling of radiated self-confidence and inner power. So yes – it’s good to learn to be indifferent and unattached to your feelings, and to not overestimate your horses as something useful in this century, because it is not.
FEELINGS = More damage than good, serve no function, connected to your animal nature intended for self-preservation. Feelings = cannot always be fully understood, as they are deeply rooted in us as a very ancient and outmoded part of our operating systems. As I said earlier the only good feeling is a feeling of satisfaction. The feeling of joy that we feel however can be easily attained by going to a comedy club. Watching a TV show. Doing drugs. And doing a multitude of other things that are not really productive, and are NOT a reward as it should be, for completing a conscious effort. Think of it as getting paid for not doing any work at all. I am not saying that you should stop seeking pleasures in life or watch TV. But you could limit it and give it to yourself only when you truly deserve it. Think about it. Could you live without any pleasures in your life? Try, as an experiment, to live ONE DAY in your life without any pleasures at all.
Therefore, once again, feelings are overrated. Some who live their lives for attaining cheap pleasures are fooling themselves into being fulfilled. This is wrong in my mind. In truth, this is not happiness! Happiness lies in living your life actively and achieving a program / goal that your mind sets out to do. So Never think ; what will bring me happiness? What will bring me pleasure? It is the wrong way of thinking. Pleasure is not important. Joy is not a goal. Achieving is. And achieving is only possible with the help of:
1. Making a decision and utilizing your mental capacity.
2. Taking a physical action.
3. And lastly, making sure that the wild horses of your feelings are well contained/controlled. The best feeling is a NO feeling. Can we forbid ourselves to feel? Can we let ourselves feel only after a successful task completion, as it should be? Can we learn the power to at least harness our feelings so they don’t damage us? Try it! 🙂 Try “firing” your horses and keep good hold of your reigns on them.
Then see how far you can go without them!
I want to inspire and urge people to take more action. Many of you await to feel like doing something and to those people I say: this feeling will never come. Act!!! And the feelings will come. Act as if you had the feeling that you want (just imagine it). We are born to feel victorious and triumphant, which comes after you accomplish something.
Which reminds me of analogy I mentioned earlier on this site about a horse and a carriage. I also have explained before, that inside the carriage there is the thinking entity which makes all the decisions. The horse represents the feelings; so sometimes our feelings take off and especially when we are afraid, we lose the ability to think. The horses take flight!
But what I haven’t talked about is the man in the middle – a jockey with a whip that takes an action. It’s very funny that the man in the middle actually holds a whip because it’s represents an action , Propelled by our decisions. You (inside the carriage) told him where you want to go, and his job is to actually take you there. So if you follow me, action is almost always precipitated by force (a whip), or simple pull of the reigns.
So to recap, we have literally to force ourselves to take an action – whether we feel it or not, because the feelings (the horse) come after action!
Remember: ACT , then feel rule and take an action as fast as you would crack an imaginary whip.
Feelings are of your animalistic nature and can’t always be tamed or understood – feelings are blind (a blindfolded horse) therefore don’t try to reason with your feelings. It’s enough to force an action and your feelings will have to go in the same direction, rather than wherever they please 🙂 it’s your job to tame those wild animals, make friends with them, but don’t try to understand them. As wild animals they will never truly be owned, but they can be tamed and trained. However since feelings are animals they will always have to urge to go on their own. It’s your job to keep them in check!
So, when goals are not being accomplished, ask yourself where in these three areas there is a lack of activity. Is it number one – a lack of decision? Is it number two – lack of action? Because without an action, the carriage will stand still. Or is it number three – the lack of “animal control”, where feelings are allowed to take the carriage wherever they please – for example such feelings as fear, being upset, anger, hurt, combative mode : all these feelings are distractions, and your horses at that point are running away taking you far, far away from your goals. So what should you be feeling WHILE trying to achieve your goals? … Check the picture. It’s Nothing. It’s not your feelings turn yet – it’s time to act! The only “real feeling” you should be feeling right now is the pain from the imaginary whip (or a fear of a whip) and determination. Then you can also dangle a carrot in front of your horses and motivate yourself by saying how great it will feel once you get there. I personally believe in a whip more than I do in carrots… And even know I’ve seen “the secret” about the power of visualization, let me tell you, I have never seen a horse being led by enticing it with carrots. TOO FREAKING SLOW. Visualization is something that happens in a matter of seconds for me, during the planning stage, (while still in my imaginary carriage, where I think and make decisions).
But after that, it’s time to get to whipping (I meant to work, haha). It’s done fast. It’s done without feelings, as and I don’t depend on my horse to function. It is a different entity that is in charge now – my “Jockey” forces me to act and do whatever is necessary in a harsh, matter-of factly way.
After an action is taken, horses are finally taking their turn. I am allowed to relax, rejoice, to have a triumphant flexing of the muscle. The key of taming the horses is to have an even, upbeat, positive disposition but without “too much ” emotion and I especially mean negative emotion. Ignoring the feelings and telling your horses: hold on, it’s not your turn yet, may also do the trick.
I only share with my reader’s that which I am myself, intensely interested in. This time also I have done extensive research about goal setting and achievement… Many books, YouTube videos and even movies were published regarding this fascinating subject. As you recall in the movie “the secret” we are told “that which you can conceive and believe you can achieve.” It’s also says that your focus becomes your reality. Your focus in essence is your energy – imagine a cord that is very flexible, with one end starting in your mind, that contains a lightbulb on its end – whenever we direct our attention and our thoughts to something we also direct our energy there. We then light up the object of our attention so it’s it’s possible to feed the source of our attention with energy whether we wanted or not. That’s how reiki specialists and hypnotists are able to maintain high amounts of energy – the first thing they do is they train to maintain their focus for as long they can — keeping their focus on one object for extended period of time (for example five minutes). It can be a black dot painted on your wall or as with reiki practitioners there is a constant focus of attention in their fingers/fingertips. We too can practice our focus – akin training our wild horses that are used to jumping from one place to another without restraint, every day, to being those magical mystical beings that are capable of bringing our dreams to reality. So here are the four things we must do:
1. Only feed with your energy that which you wish to flourish and come to reality. Like money don’t freely give away your attention… Instead preserving it for the things that really matter. Where does it really pay to direct your energy so it multiplies and works for you? Direct it only to the things that give you joy; to do things that contribute to your self development either physically or mentally; direct it in other words to the things that work for you and your goals.
2. Ask yourself “who am I ? who am I that I going to meet in the future, a person in whose direction I am walking to every day?” Then create 2 scenarios in your mind…in one scenario imagine the perfect you – the one that you want to be if you keep doing the steps that you outlined for yourselves. The life that future you will be living, the house that person will be residing in, their feelings that person will be experiencing, the diplomas that will be hanging on his wall and the wonderful people surrounding Him, admiring, and being thankful to “this person”.
And in the second scenario imagine a lazy fat and unkept person sitting on the couch, and being abandoned by their children. Exaggerate the filth around that person….exaggerate all the horrible things that happened to him …exaggerate the disgust and resentment and shame that THIS persons family feels towards them. Any of this scenario which is one of the technique of negative motivation, tell yourself that this could be you, if you don’t do the steps, that you outlined for yourself. If you don’t keep walking towards your goal, you can be that person. And now, feel it in your heart, how much you don’t want this reality to be your reality. You are not that person! And you never will be. You have what it takes. So you will leave that scenario behind you and you will walk towards a wonderful and bright future that you deserve. The past doesn’t belong to us and future is not ours. Ours is only the present, the present which is slipping away with each passing moment. In truth, the present is not ours either: ours is only a shadow point between now and the next moment, The strength and confidence we feel are ours to own and to master. So leave behind the fears about tomorrow or the fears about death – we as humans are not the owners, we are renters… We are just as temporary as the flowers, the trees, like the next moment that comes and slips away …like the river that flows and renews itself. So REJOICE and take pleasure in every moment. Prepare yourself for opportunity, for achievement, for a triumph, for joy!
3. What can I do? Grow every day that what you can to learn every day – you aren’t going to get tired to learn and advance yourself – remember that we are perpetual students for lifetime and learning never stops, ever! That’s why the wisest said to us – “the only thing that I’ve learned is that I know nothing. ” For nobody knows the future.
4. What do I do? Every day, do three things and take at least three steps towards your goal.
5. What do I have? This is the last stage of goal making – this last stage will reflect on all of your steps that you previously have taken, and like compass, it will show you, if you’re on the right path. Good luck!
PS – I have talked before about the resources, or building blocks to goal achievement, as being your Energy Levels. But one important caveat here, aside from being focused, is the level of your Emotional health. Being calm and overall happy – protecting yourself from unnecessary emotional outbreaks – is another important factor in maintaining your energy resources high. For emotional holes will drain energy quicker than you can say Mississippi.
OK so I know there are different modes from which we humans operate:
I think it would be fair to tie Spiritual and Physical ; and Emotional and Intellectual into a second team.
If we had a compare how our system works, then our emotions are the Horses that charge forward. Intellect is the horseman in charge of the horses. And then, behind this dynamic duo, there’s a carriage – our physical being. Inside the carriage, there’s Spirit.
Overall it’s an interconnected system. The Spirit is able to communicate to the Mind but not directly to the physical… It is sort of stuck. The mind can make physical changes as a clever Horseman who gets the carriage to the destination of your Spirits wants.
One more interesting thing: when you want to make a mind (and emotions) shut down, you must simply sway the balance by concentrating on purely physical growth. Your spirit will be able to communicate that bodily happiness indirectly (via subconsciousness).
And vice versa, when we need to stop aching physically, then all we need to do us to focus exclusively on the other side of your being : the mind and the emotions.
So now, since we ve just learned about the balance of the system, I want to propose an experiment: try tomorrow to alternate physical and intellectual activities every hour of the day. Let me know what your results were!!!
Yours in power and strength –
Today’s lesson is on how to deal with ugly behavior – ugly behavior breeds uglier responses. It’s almost like seeing a person get possessed by a demon – the demons ultimate goal is to possess you. Through another persons weakness you become the target to fall lower than he did. In response to an ugly action, we perceive the person in front of us for an enemy…
I wanted to also mention the same tactic that Devil used in Hitlers times during Holocaust. By dehumanizing people their spirit was targeted at the very core, as they clung to the last threads of sanity, they watched faith die….And with faith destroyed, it was an easy task for the Grim Reaper to claim lost souls.
So what is the right way to deal with peoples ugliness? My answer to that, when you are faced with a Demon, (I say symbolically that you are faced with a demon, when you can’t recognize the person you know and love) you can kill him with a skill/tactic I call CPC. The key to this tactic is:
1.REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE!
How you act represents you, always. How you act under pressure however , represents who you truly are at your very core. It is your true essence. If you were a lemon, under the pressure a lemon juice would pour out.
2.Remember who the offender is.
So with this in mind the CPC method would work like this;
1.Begin with a Yes, I understand.
2.AND … You are a reasonable, kind person.
(Insert a Compliment stating the good qualities of the person. The qualities that aren’t showing at the moment. )
3.BUT I am …a person who should be treated with respect .
(Insert a Program, an instruction manual on how you expect to be treated)
4. AND THEREFORE a bright person like you will find a worthy companion in no time.
(Insert another Compliment about some positive trait in this person).
Thus you have not succumbed to this demons trap to fall to his level or lower…Instead, you told them who you expect them to be…and sandwiched in between two compliments an instruction manual on how you expect to be treated. After saying that with calm dignity you walk away without an argument. That’s it.
I hope today’s lesson is valuable to you one day 🙂 We all become demon-slayers – killing them with the shield of CPC kindness.
A real Leader is not an energy leech when it comes to High Level Energy – in fact he/she is the very source of Energy people come to to re-energize to, themselves. A leader knows to draw that energy from his big and noble goals.
Below I have listed a few “energy holes” through which precious Energy gets depleted:
- Poor Sleep hygiene. This comes from a lack of routine – if you have a routine in place, you will go to bed at the same time and wake up at the same time every day without use of the alarm clock. Recharge your “batteries” via a constant mechanism of energy replenishment.
- Complaining. This point is easily eliminated if your remember my Leadership 101 affirmation, where I ask that you affirm (and vow) to be in the position of strength at all times – you are the pillar of strength for yourself and others, and the time to be weak is when you are alone, at the dark of night. You are the pillar of strength, the source of energy, AND you are now the catalyst of change. Always be striving and demanding changes that are necessary in order to succeed.
- Anger. Don’t lose your cool – “be the mountain” per Leader 101 on my Affirmations page. – Anger has a special bookmark in my book, because I consider anger to be a holy, almost a sacred feeling, it is our “protector” so you can identify with it because you as a leader are a protector too. In fact if you are not feeling a little bit angry, if you are a bland person who has got nothing to prove to anybody, then you cannot be responsible for this world. You need to take a back seat and enjoy the view. Anger is the driving force of passion, so I actually want you to foster a little bit of anger but ON THE INSIDE. When I say anger as a “black hole” of energy, I mean angry outbursts – not lack of FIRMNESS. If you want to be a leader you’ve got to be able to be angry (on the inside) but remain calm and composed on the outside. Remain calm and yet firmly demand “the best results”. However, yelling, screaming, crying and stomping feet belongs on the WEAKNESS page, and not on a leader’s resume. If you want to influence others and cannot control yourself, you are not a leader. Got short fuse? Work on yourself, record yourself, be constantly improving!
- Bragging/gossiping. When I say bragging, I don’t mean don’t be marketing yourself or constantly raise your ratings. But when you’ve got a goal to achieve and you’ve done a baby step#1 towards it, don’t go around town telling the irate villagers every little detail of your “master plan”. They’ve got problems of their own. This is childish, foolish, this comes off as seeking approval – and seeking approval is not for leaders. Learn to generalize details, joke and be humorous, and brag not.
- Asking for help. Asking for help equals helplessness, and helplessness equals lack of responsibility. You need some growing up to do if you are constantly seeking help and asking questions. You as a leader ARE the person who people come to seek help FROM. You are the one asked questions, for you must hold all the answers, be a bit of a psychologist, motivate others for achievement and help them to step over their stones of impediment.
- Asking for permission. A leader can “Marshall the assets” and declare a military regime…a leader can decide to thwart things that don’t work, throw away and liquidate things that hog down the resources. Strip away, minimize, and reform the structure that outlived itself. Do you need to ask permission for that ? No, because inevitably you are bound to step on people’s feelings, the key is to realize that you have a common goal and that goal TRUMPS the initial losses that might be felt at first. Without pain, there’s NO GAIN. You are not a clown – you didn’t come here to this dire situation to give everybody a candy! Let’s face it, change can be drastic. It can be painful, yes. But change is necessary to push forward and break through the walls of ignorance. You don’t need a permission to do that, but you can talk about it and make people feel better about it.
- Feeling lost. You can feel lost on the inside, but you are a leader and suppose to LEAD the way…You know HOW to get somewhere, but people are not always going to trust you right away. Don’t lose faith. A temporary feeling of being “lost” is only a temporary hurdle, it doesn’t mean that the solution is not within your grasp, but simply that at this moment in time you don’t know “everything” yet. Don’t underestimate the power of Market Research and user polling. Figure out what people want, what is it that you are not aware of? The information is not always at your fingertips, but there are people who would be happy to point to the destination. Like a good detective, you must find out everything! Do your research and find out what have worked before, who is the person who has the skills you are looking for. What have produced outstanding results in a way that you demanded? Just because something is not immediately obvious, shouldn’t stop you from finding it.
- Wasting time and resources. A true leader appreciates his/her and everybody else’s time and understands the power of focus on things that matter. If something is not working, wastes your time, wastes your money, STOP doing it. If something IS making you money but doesn’t get enough credit, recognize it. In other words, don’t water the weeds – only water plants that give you fruit.
- And lastly what IS energy? Energy is the horses of your attention. If they are scattered like the wild jumping leapfrogs, going wherever they please, there will be less of it. If you keep the horses of your attention focused and in control – you will have more “energy”. For example. Let’s take Jill. She was very productive today. She checked her email, answered phones, solved family problems… She was all-achievement and yet, due to lack of energy, all her goals and dreams remain an impossible task. For no matter what she did not how many blind dates she went on, she never met a person who even remotely looked like “the one”. Now take a look at Jack. He seems very focused on only attending work and developing strategies for his new department. He has an abundance of energy and therefore, he was promoted at work within a month. The horses of his energy were tamed. In fact when he got distracted, Jack consciously redirected them to one path – a path that was worthwhile to spend the energy on. You see, energy is both like horses AND like money. We are very conscious that we don’t buy everything we see in sight or we’d go broke. We spend money “wisely” and prudently. And yet, how easily we give our attention to everything and anything around us? The cute kittens YouTube videos? The rants on Facebook and Twitter? The countless hours of mindless TV watching or listening to gossip in the office ?.. If only you knew that with each such activity, you spent a precious “dollar” of your energy – a dollar that was actually going to get you closer to achievement. Would you waste it so easily?…
Everyone has fears. Babies have fears. Grown ups have fears. Even animals have fears. Fears are fascinating to me.
Tell me your fears! Fears are rational and irrational – but they run skin-deep! So today I just wanted to share a few tips – as fears can be addressed.
You can “talk to your fears” – at night, before bedtime. Night time is a perfect time of day to mitigate your fears by just talking to yourself about doing you fear. For example, you can put that “something” on your calendar and to do list – then close your eyes and just imagine doing it.
Another tip is go on forum and talk to people who are already doing what you want to be doing . This is called “coming close to your fears”. So these are the 2 techniques – talking to your fears and coming close to your fears THE NIGHT BEFORE you do something .
In the morning though you can say Out Loud your affirmations for Affirmations are best repeated in the morning when your minds “identity of self” is still asleep (just like a computer your mind needs to re-load it’s OPERATING system) that’s when you can repeat your affirmations to retain the qualities that you want – the qualities that you are lacking…
So once again: in the morning is the perfect time to add qualities pertaining to your identity. At night the time is perfect to “talk to your fears” about things you are afraid to do; when your action center is “falling asleep”.
I have posted some of my own affirmations on my Affirmations page.